Ah, the title is deceiving, as I assure you I can not actually comprehend the depths of God’s love. But here is what I do know of it:
I was so angry. So very mad that a vigilante streak of justice settled in me with a scary realization that there was someone within my realm of space on this Earth that I would actually give a good consideration to ending. Harsh? No. You’d feel at least a flare of the same if you knew the details that I cannot share.
For reference, I am a person who has tried my best for the past 35(ish) years to never say that I hated a person. Annoyed by – yes. Irritated by – of course. Exasperated, angered, irked, antagonized, aggravated, and enraged by – all of the above. But, no matter my emotions, I refrained from hating as a personal leading value.
Until this person. And I was speaking the words. I was saying out loud the words that I wished to be true. And God stopped me, reminding me that the person is his child, his creation, and his beloved. I believe I shared my thoughts in prayer to God that his child was despicable. And although that may be true, God still loves them. Paul, who is a major writer of the New Testament was a murderer of God’s people. It’s just a story when you read it in a book; it takes a new perspective when you see twisted evil in person.
What I know is that God’s love is so much that my head can’t wrap around it. God’s forgiveness is so complete that there is no room for anything to be left out. And God’s ability to turn people around when they turn to him is beyond what our logical minds can comprehend, at least mine.
Tonight I am thankful for God’s love. I’m praying about this. I’m not there yet. I am remembering that the person is also God’s child and I am not proceeding with the hate-filled thoughts. I am praying. God can make a good ending here for all. And when I don’t have the heart to pray for ALL the people involved, I borrow a piece of God’s heart and move forward.
Momma's Silver Lining 