Overwhelmed

What do you do when you are overwhelmed?  I shrink away inside my head somewhere to hide.  It is truly annoying.

My brain has gotten so good at this over the years that I don’t usually notice right away,  if you were to ask me, I wouldn’t say that I feel overwhelmed.  My brain and/or emotions are like:  We got you girl!!  Just focus on this story, or this game, or this tv show for 6 hours or so and stay numb.  It’s all good!!

Then 6 hours later I’m left feeling fuzzy, like what in the world just happened?  Silly self – I could have handled life if you hadn’t shut down!!  Or, maybe I needed that disconnect to actually be able to handle life.

There were years, as a kid, that I didn’t disconnect.  I’d cry, become physically upset, nauseous, not able to breathe right, terrified, etc.  I’ve spent a lot of time praying, learning, trusting, and living to not do that.   So maybe the shut down is better.  I just don’t always see it coming or realize it is happening.

Tonight I am thankful for the annoying shut down.  I know my brain is trying to protect me, so I’ll cut it some slack.  But I can tell you that my prayers are changing to help me be aware, help seek peace, help me give worries over to God; and to rejoice!  To rejoice so much because hope, joy, happiness, and persistent expectation of God’s goodness will pull a person out of a negative overwhelmed state to being overwhelmed with God’s love in the most freeing and best way possible. ❤❤