A Little

When I was a kid / young teenager, I would take time every New Year’s Eve to write things down. I wanted a list of things that I liked from that year and a list of things that I wanted out of the next year. Watching the Quiet Man with John Wayne, making my lists, while eating Doritos, and watching Mt Dew were my New Years thing for many years as a youngster.

Since then, I’ve kind of done the same idea of lists in one form or another. I don’t know about “resolutions”, but definitely I make some plans for the upcoming year. And I like to look back on the “wins” of the previous year. Over the years those good things have varied. Some years there were big things like having my babies. Sometimes there were little things like learning to put on figurative blinders so that I could walk thru my house and not go crazy when I had four babies under the age of five.

This year I think I want my list to be a little different. Make no mistake, there were definitely some good things this year! Visiting kiddos in North Carolina, watching a kiddo graduate boot camp, watching a kiddo compete in a world competition, and reaching new levels of understanding with a kiddo that we consistently have misunderstandings between us. These are all big and wonderful things! And, well, there, I made a list of them 🙂

This year also had some big things that I am still standing after. One year ago, I was still basically living on the couch as the nerve above my eye tried to heal after my accident and stitches. It is as healed as it is going to be now. No more daily migraines, so I’ll count that as a win! The deaths of two very influential loved ones within four weeks of each other will take longer to heal from. Although I don’t think one ever “heals” completely from that. You just learn how to live in this new reality. Much like my eye I guess. It’s not going to be how it was. But you keep going.

And you keep going in the best way to honor these people who put so much of their lives in to yours. Right now I know they’d be proud. And I plan to continue that way. Even when I jokingly blamed Mark for making my Christmas presents so scattered (I’ve been finding things for days after Christmas! 🤣) Honestly, he would agree and laugh about it. He liked to tease as much as he liked to give and be a blessing.

Tonight I am thankful for all of the little wins this year. I am thankful that those I lost would be proud. Heck, seven year old me would be proud! She wanted me to be strong and never let anything break me. She actually promised herself of that. Seven year old me knew the secret to strength was God and he’s been my strength ever since. When I make the list of good things, God is always behind all of the things on that list. And when I make the list of things to come in the upcoming year, that list is subject to God’s will for my life. I pray that I quiet myself enough to hear and see his will. His list for the upcoming year is always better than mine! Even when the things in life aren’t always brilliantly joyful, God is there. His love is there. And his strength is there; and that is why I am here. ❤️