For the record, I am a fan of A Christmas Story 🙂
If you’ve seen it, do you remember the part when Ralphie told his mom that he heard the swear word from Schwartz? Do you know what is great about that? A parent called another parent to discuss their kids. Ok, so they were wrong and a kid got in trouble when it was the dad swearing so much. BUT, the part where parents talked is great.
Last school year a child of mine had an issue with another child at school. I kind of knew the parents so I reached out to them. I was lied to. Like, such a lie that I knew it was a lie when it was written in a message. Then the parent lied to their child about our conversation. The child then went to school and told my child what the other parent told them. My child came home fairly upset. I was thankful that the entire conversation was written thru messaging. I showed my child the actual conversation. My child went to school and told the other child. And, at least I wasn’t a horrible person to my child.
Anyway, one could say that I was a bit soured on this whole trying-to-work-nicely with other parents deal. If a parent can’t admit that their child messes up, then there is no hope. I know my child messes up. Please tell me when they do; so we can work on things and get better. Ultimately that should be the goal, to help the children become better people. Not to hide them from life – where they are actually going to have to be responsible for their actions at some point.
Now here it is, another school year, and another situation. This situation has been going on for a little bit. I’ve given my child suggestions on how to handle things. And maybe improve the situation. Nothing has worked. I told the child that I know the other parent. Like, I know the mom enough to know that she is a pretty reasonable person. Dare I try and reach out again?
Well of course. How could I not? I was ready in case the response was less than reasonable. But I had high hopes. So I stated, my child is having problems with your child because of “yada, yada, yada”. She apologized and spoke with her child. She came back and said my child will be better. Just so you know, my child also told me “yada, yada, yada”. I had not heard this last part from my child. So I apologized and spoke with my child. The things the other child said were very true. My child and I talked about how this was wrong. My child tried to justify things. But no. There is no justification for saying mean words and “just playing” to where another person is uncomfortable. I wrote back to the other parent that my child will be apologizing to her child tomorrow. And please let me know if there are more issues.
Boom. Just like that. Parents talking honestly and respectfully to each other and actually parenting – like holding kids accountable. I love it.
Tonight I am thankful for the other parent who also wanted to resolve issues and actually fix things. I am thankful that I was told about what my child was doing, so we can fix this. My child knows better. And my child will be better than this past behavior. I am thankful that my child has this opportunity to apologize for these mistakes and for the chance to make better decisions!
Bug's Bright Side 