There are many things that I don’t want to contribute to age. But I can say that acknowledging the difference between my brain and my emotions is easier to navigate at this stage in life. Although I really don’t know if it is age or experience, or both.
Today had a concerned family member reaching out. The intentions were good. They were so very good. But, I am a bit exhausted. It was a week of a horrible cold and a busy schedule. This weekend has had more than it’s fair share to do. And the words hit me like I wasn’t doing enough or being there enough. Now I KNOW 110% that the words weren’t meant that way. It just felt like it. So I said a prayer, turned my back to the feelings and focused on what I knew to be true.
This afternoon I was trying to work on a project that has a very important self-imposed, quick deadline. Trying to get that done, while working on a very important deal for a client, while climbing up and down a ladder, with a still stuffy head, AND feeling like I shouldn’t be doing any of that, but being there for a birthday girl . . yep, feelings. So I turned my back to the feelings and focused on what I knew to be true – the birthday girl was fine and had other plans, the work was getting done and I am bringing in help, and I still negotiated a deal and my clients are now under contract.
Tonight I am back at my office for a quick minute because there were little things that HAVE to be done before an inspection tomorrow. So I had to leave the birthday girl once more. I gave extra hugs and left with emotional guilt clinging to my back. I am still working on this one. Because what I know to be true is that she had plans to chat with a friend once we were out of the driveway.
Tonight I am thankful for the things that I know to be true. This is just a difficult time in life. I am staying in prayer and knowing that God is here in this. Emotions lie, regularly and consistently. I am reminding myself of the truth here and not getting lost in the emotions that I know the devil is trying to use to pull me down in an already stress-able time. Nope, he’s not winning. Not today.
*Now when I get home, I will give my birthday girl another hug. And maybe some candy. 🙂
Bug's Bright Side 