Do you do check-ins with yourself? I have been.
After losing my Grandma in November and my Marky in December; I check in with myself.
You know, it seems there is this moving line of healing after a loved one leaves this Earth. Both of them had been suffering and their departures were a relief for them. It is still sad to not have them here.
I was in a store over the weekend. There was an older man the next aisle over that was clearing his throat a lot. Marky would do that. The medication that he was on caused something in his throat. It had been awhile since he had been to the store with me. But it was easy to find him when he wasn’t within eye sight!
I haven’t taken him out of my phone contacts. And I stopped and thought about it. It isn’t a huge thing of grief. It isn’t that I “can’t let go”. He was having trouble using his phone for months. And even before that, he didn’t like using his cell phone for a long, long time. It would often get lost, or be uncharged.
I just like seeing him smile at me when I go to my contacts. And that’s ok. 🙂
Tonight I am thankful that no one can define this for me. I try not to be definable as a general rule anyway. 😉 Some time has passed and changed the categories of the memories. The last moments, the last days, the last weeks, are no longer the things that stand out. They are giving away to the years and the lifetime of love before things started going bad. And that is a good place, even if old men clearing their throat in the store still make me pause. ❤️
Momma's Silver Lining 