Oh this phrase used to burn me. I remember, as a kid, there was a summer that my parents made a list of extra jobs that my brother and I could do for money. And my brother’s name was written on the hardest jobs with the most money.
I asked why his name was there. My Marky said because he was the boy and the jobs were harder. Poor Marky. He grew up with only brothers. And he was newer to our family.
My Mom had told me that I could do anything I put my mind to. I believed her. And quite frankly, I didn’t feel like I should be discounted because he was older and a boy! I wouldn’t stop until I could everything he could do! Thankfully I was a polite child. But I do remember telling Marky that I would be doing some of the “hard” jobs and I expected the larger pay out. And I did it. And I got paid.
Fast forward some years and I remember telling my then-boyfriend, now-hubster that he did not want someone like me. I wasn’t discounting myself, rather acknowledging the roles that he had in his mind for himself and his wife. I would not fit in to any pre-conveived role, as a personal choice actually. As you can imagine, we had some heated and rocky moments thru the years on this. I want to use the chainsaw while he makes dinner one day. Perhaps the next day I will do the laundry while he shovels the driveway. And yet the next day I’ll mow the lawn and he can clean out the closet. A job is a job. They all just need to get done. These are the principles I decided on in my youth. And logic gas never brought a good reason to me for this to change.
Tonight I am thankful that while equal work, and partnership are principles in our life; we both know that 50/50 is never true. My Mom said it best, the goal is 100/100. Then even if you don’t hit 100%, there is always more than enough. And if one person falls short for a moment, there is nothing lacking.
Momma's Silver Lining 