Sometimes this blog gets to hear the things that I don’t share out loud during the day. Because this is where it makes sense to sort these things out and choose to remain thankful at the end of the day.
Today was a good Thanksgiving. My kiddos that live in this state were here. My Mom came for dinner. I got to stay in touch with the out of state kiddo. Dinner was tasty. All was well.
So why this evening did I get sad? Why did tears come to my eyes when no one was looking? Because this is different. And “different” sucks sometimes.
Make no mistake, I can be strong. I was born strong. I used to brave the dark to turn my brother’s bedroom light off and run down the hallway to my own room, when I was scared of the dark myself – but I told him I wasn’t scared so he wouldn’t feel bad. I moved states away, by myself, in to the unknown at 17. I built a business where I go in to rundown houses with no power, in questionable neighborhoods by myself (that’s only a part of one of the businesses, but I’m trying to make a point here).
But, being strong doesn’t matter sometimes. One year ago, on November 27th, I was eating dinner with my Mom at a hospital cafeteria. That was the turning point day. That was the day we scheduled to meet with hospice the following morning. The next day, with hospice, was the day we made the plan to let go after holding on for so long.
I won’t let one year ago overshadow the good of today. There was just one person missing today. ❤️
Tonight I am thankful for decades of Thanksgivings with the man who was missing today. I am thankful for my loved ones who were present today, both in person and over the phone/internet. I am thankful for a good and filling meal today. I am thankful for the gift to love and be loved; that is a truly timeless gift that transcends the space between heaven and Earth.
Momma's Silver Lining 