Bashing

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Sometimes I have a hard time letting go of the feeling from when I royally make a wrong decision.  So yep, I remember it like it was yesterday.

I had a friend at the time whose hobby was bashing her husband.  When these conversations started, it seemed like venting.  So I joined in.  I need to vent sometimes too.  Nothing wrong with a little understanding between friends of the difficulties of living with the opposite sex, right?

Well wrong.  It was more than venting.  It was the predominant theme in conversations.  And it didn’t take long for me to feel like a traitor.  Yes, my husband has flaws.  But they are just a part of him.  There are many other good parts of him that I wasn’t giving light to.

One day I changed the conversation.  I brought up the good.  I can admit the flaws; I mean, I’m not blinded by the man.  But that’s not where my focus should be.  What good could possibly come from that?  I mess up in life fairly often myself.  And do you know what he does?  He forgives me.  And that’s about it.

Today was a day I let my mouth run a little too loose about an incident that happened.  And here I am now, feeling a bit crappy about it.

I wrote earlier (last week I think) how the hubster and I started dating 20 years ago this month.  Want to know something that I’ve learned in 20 years?  Acknowledge the bad, work on it or forgive it – whichever is necessary, but focus on the good.  There will always be bad in any relationship.  And if you stare it and talk about it and let it consume your thoughts; it always gets bigger.  So stare at the good and talk about that and let it consume your thoughts.  Let the good stuff grow.  Let it shine and take center stage.

Tonight I am thankful for the chance to forgive.  This time I’m forgiving him for the incident.  And I’m forgiving myself, since I somehow found it necessary to keep running my mouth!  We are all human; and we all make mistakes.  The world didn’t end today because of mistakes.  The world kept turning.  So nothing was really so wrong that it needed to steal my peace or joy . . or his.