Spouse Heated Discussions

I thought I would share some personal information out here on the wide, open internet. Because . . why not, right? 🙂

I was chatting with a friend a couple weeks ago now and there was a conversation about being a business owner and all that goes with it. This particular conversation also went along with spouses/partners. I didn’t say a lot during that particular conversation with him . . but it’s been on my mind now.

So here it is; the hubster and I have a pretty good groove with my workaholic tendancies now days (and I’m trying to be less and less of a workaholic!). But we weren’t always in a good grove with it.

In some very important ways, the hubster and I are very much the same. In some very big ways, we are very much different. One of the ways we are different is work. He is detailed and thorough. He likes a specific plan and the objectives clear. Naturally, I am not any of those things. I have ideas and thoughts that whirl around like a happy tornado. And I chase a lot of them with blinders on. One might see how these two might not go well together.

I remember one time specifically when we were having a rather heated discussion. It was the discussion where things would change our dynamic. The real issue (which was not where our discussion had been) was that we each were looking at our own point of view and not the others. I realized it when he said some words completely out of left-field, from my perspective, on what he thought I wanted from him. Isn’t it funny how we expect our spouse or partner to just know what we are thinking . . or at least be in the ballpark? I thought it was clear . . and I do try to over-communicate. But, then I saw thru his words and saw what he was worried about.

So we laid it all out. I didn’t need him to work like me. I get intense and relentless. He doesn’t, and that’s ok! It probably would not be good if he was that way . . goodness, we need someone to stay grounded! And that’s him. I told him that I needed him to back me. That’s all I needed. Don’t do it for me. Certainly don’t stand in my way. And don’t leave me completely alone. Just back me. Be there when I need to call for back-up . . because I probably won’t ask more than once. I’m rather stubborn. So he does.

And him? He needs me to not get so carried away that I forget to bring him along when I’m chasing things. Guilty . . I had been doing that. He isn’t as passionate as me with ideas and dreams (unless it is cars 🤣) so I sometimes forget to look around to whatever is not right in front of me.

Tonight, and always, I am thankful for that discussion, no matter how heated it was, when we reached an understanding on how to move forward and live with each other . . being our own individual selves, and catering to the other. I forget how many arguments . . er . . discussions . . we had before that one. But I knew it had been a reoccuring issue for sometimes . . when I had no idea why he had been getting so upset; and he probably had no idea whey I had been so seemingly non-caring.

And the perfect picture for this post is this gem captured by my cousin a few years back ❤