Want To vs. Need To

Months ago I signed my son and I up for a 5k.  Not just the Pumpkin Run, but the Tough Pumpkin, where you run the 5k holding a pumpkin!

I had such great intentions.  But, I didn’t get my running in.  So I was going to walk and run intermittently.

Then I got a cold.  It turned in to a pretty terrible cold since I wasn’t taking care of myself properly.  A very wise woman reminded me that I am prone to pneumonia.  I asked myself a couple times, what is it going to take for me to take better care of myself?

I have such great intentions.  But I have difficulties prioritizing the follow-thru in the day to day happenings of life.

Today I didn’t run.  Today I didn’t walk.  Oh, I was tempted.  But I spent the morning coughing and sneezing.  Walking with my son down to the start line had me feverish and sweating while trying to catch my breath.  Instead of pushing myself, like I normally would have; I decided to sit this one out.


Tonight I am thankful that if I am the problem (which I totally am); then I am also the solution.  I’ve been telling the hubster that I just am not “feeling it” lately.  I am simply not caring if I eat all the carbs at all hours of the day.  I can’t seem to find a good enough reason to get enough sleep or to exercise consistently.  In life when you aren’t hit with inspiration; you go find it.  I am still not “feeling it”.  But I will start making better decisions, one agonizingly irritating better decision at a time . . until the decisions are quite so agonizing, and aren’t quite so irritating.  I know my body has been waiting for me to care more about it than I do about hitting a deadline or my next new idea.  Even though I don’t want to, it’s time to put self-care up higher on the to-do list.

Here’s the shirt and the pumpkin that I paid for months ago, but didn’t keep myself healthy enough to participate with today.  Let them be the start of the inspiration that I’ve been looking for!  I once had a goal to run this whole thing today.  And I could have walked it.  I also could have spent the afternoon in Urgent Care getting more antibiotics since I never let my body rest and renew itself.  I am thankful for the chance to make better decisions; not because I want to, but because I need to.


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