Pause

I got too excited this evening.  I had planned and prepared and tried to remind myself to calm down.

Then this evening came news that wasn’t quite what I expected.  It wasn’t a “no”.  But, more facts were brought to light that would make a “yes” quite difficult.

I had to pause.

I came home.  I sat out on our patio.  Turned on the gas fire (from Aldi’s!) and just did some breathing.  My thoughts went a million miles per minute.  Then nothing.  Then more lots of thoughts, like an Amtrak thru my head.  Then nothing.  Man, I am tired.

I am prioritizing.  I am going to explore possibilities.  And I’ll come up with a plan F or G.  Honestly I forget where I am with this by this point.  And I’ll pray.  I tend to jump ahead sometimes.  I did with this a little.  I was excited!  Maybe this is still the right decision.  Maybe not.  I’m calmed down now.  I’ll spend more time on this.  But for tonight, I’ll just breathe.

Tonight I am thankful for pausing in life sometimes to regain some calm.  It’ll all get figured out.  And it doesn’t need to be figured out now . . although I want it figured out now!  But, it doesn’t need to be.  Pause, faith, trust.