The Squish

I was thinking while driving this morning out to my kiddo’s cross country meet. My driving time is my thinking time. I thought about how I was going to steal in some extra time today. The cross country meet was really close to the Michigan Renaissance Festival! So this morning I asked the hubster if he minded if the kiddo and I went while we were so close. He was cool with it, so we planned on going.

This kiddo is in his senior year. And while I am up for turning any day in to an adventure as a normal course of life; there has been an extra urge to do so. This kiddo will leave me. My first senior kiddo was in a program that was keeping her here after high school ended and I was secretly and selfishly very happy with that! My current senior kiddo plans on signing up for the military. In a few short months, he’ll be gone.

Have you ever had a hug with someone that lingers, then there is an extra squish to the hug before they let you go? That is where my state of mind is with my kiddos. All of them to some degree, as I know I can’t keep them forever. But lately, it is especially with this senior kiddo.

I am more inclined to say yes to our adventures (to our talks, to our time, to a lot of things), to squish in as much as I can before I let him go. The big squish at the end of our hug . . with the hug being our time together so far in his life. Because really, just like a hug doesn’t take up a ton of time, this time in his life will one day be just a small fraction of his time on Earth.

It was timely to have this thought this morning because there was a time about 25 years ago that my Mom drove my brother to the Michigan Renaissance Festival every morning and picked him up every evening. He worked there on weekends for a whole season before he had a car to drive himself. So she drove him, over an hour each way. I knew at the time it was because she loved him so much and it was so important to him. And now, looking back, I think that was also part of her squish to hold him close before she let him go.

Tonight I am thankful for getting to be Momma to my four wonderful kiddos. I am thankful for each moment and each squish that we get to fit in together. And I am thankful that when I let them go, I’ll know that I squished them with as much love as I could fit in without squishing them too much (yes, I know that is a thing too!)

*Here was the sky on the way home today. I thought it was kind of fitting, look even the sky squishes before it changes! ❤️

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