This week started out with a few pretty upset people calling me.  My businesses are in the same industry, but worlds apart on some levels.  As a Real Estate Broker, I get to make people happy with homes.  As a Real Estate Appraiser, I usually only hear from people when they are upset . . upset, mad, livid, whatever.  It’s just a part of the job.

I think often on the skills that I’ve developed because of that part of the job.  I used to be a much more sensitive person.  Someone could say something mean and ruin my whole week.  Not anymore.  Now I lose maybe 10 minutes, sometimes more.  But I remember to pray for them a lot quicker now than I used to!

I think of how I used to be much more fearful of speaking up to people.  But, when I was starting the appraisal business, I HAD to make it work.  If I was going to stay home with my babies, then I HAD to make this business succeed; so I was going to do whatever I had to.  Isn’t it funny how I could be so brave for my babies, but not previously for myself.

I have learned to be much more organized (though it’ll never be my strongest attribute!).  I’ve worked hard and longer than I ever thought possible.

I think of how I’ve changed in life over the past decade and a half; and I’ve felt on occasion, that maybe it isn’t such a good thing that I’ve changed from who I used to be.  Does anyone ever think that way?  Like maybe that old person was who I really was and this new person, formed by conflict and life is far removed from who I really am?

Let me tell you how my thoughts go with that – I see that the devil tries any way he can to create self-doubt and self-hate.  Who I am now is who God has fashioned me to be.  I am no longer meek in a crowd; but I have an eye of discernment and compassion for those who are meek in a crowd.  I am no longer easy to puncture with words carelessly thrown around; but I have learned wisdom to know where those words come from and why.  It isn’t truly “developing thick-skin” at all, it is a bigger understanding and forgiveness for  where the words come from within a person.  Speaking with people is still not my favorite thing to do, but I can much more easily now draw courage and clear thoughts to speak.

No, I haven’t strayed from who I truly am.  I have let God sharpen me from the world’s attacks and am still being transformed in to the plans God has for me.  My heart is still me.  I have not lost myself at all.  I lost the fear.

Tonight I am thankful for the transformations God has done in my life.  I know there are more to come.  And I am thankful that God has promised to never leave me.  Sometimes these new paths are scary.  But  they are always worth it, and they were never meant to be walked down by myself.

P.S.  Footprints has always been my favorite 😉


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