Truth

Today I admitted something that I’ve been keeping a secret. For the past few weeks I’ve been losing hair at an alarming level. I was in denial at first. It was just a fluke. Well, I wasn’t taking good care of myself, surely things would straighten out. All the while I knew what the problem was.

Yesterday, hearing of the sudden passing of an old friend . . I don’t know. It just kind of put it in perspective for me. No more denial.

Life has had a lot of super big things lately. I’ve shared on here about my family having Covid, the chimney work at the office, and last night I wrote about a ridiculous amount of appraisals in my business due to a hole in our software. And those are only some of the big life things. There are just as many big, if not bigger things, going on as well.

This amount of big things is an overload. I don’t ask for help well. And I don’t like to admit things I don’t like. It took me over a week to be honest with the hubster about how I felt when he got really bad with Covid and I took him to the hospital. I was mad. Mad, sad, trying not to be scared, praying for faith and strength. I told him that I would have been so mad at him if he had died. And that is absolutely true. He could have gotten his vaccination. He could have worn a mask. I shouldn’t have had to wonder if our life insurance covered covid deaths. I shouldn’t have had two kiddos asking me if dad was going to die. Make no mistake, I am very thankful that he is doing so well now! But sometimes feelings take a while to get worked thru.

Yesterday and today I’ve been praying and thinking and praying. I have been intentional in many things, but taking care of myself is not one of them. In a couple of months a lot of these big life things will be a thing of the past. And I was planning on just waiting out the big things. But, no more. There is no need to wait.

Tonight I am thankful for being honest. We had a family meeting tonight. I told my family what has been going on. I asked for help. I told them that I know I have a big part in changing things. But they have a part too. Tonight I am thankful for working on some healthy boundaries and healthy habits for myself.